I See What You Meme

Just when you think life is approaching some sense of balance, something comes along to throw you off kilter.  At least that's the way it seems lately.  Many of you heard this week that my mom has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. My mom...and me at about 4 months Although she's been experiencing some medical challenges for a few months, it has taken a while to put all the seemingly disconnected symptoms together and discover the diagnosis. Looking back, it's not all that surprising since Multiple Myeloma is extremely rare (only about .7% of the population has a lifetime risk of contracting it) and really difficult to diagnose in early stages.  Over the last few weeks, I've found myself reflecting with a range of emotions on the entire experience. Here we are again, (almost) eight years later, with a very serious medical diagnosis impacting our family. It is interesting how quickly I can fall back into some of the rhythms that emerge when a loved one is ...

"Sometimes I see your face, The stars seem to lose their place Why must I think of you? Why must I? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Why would you want me to? And what would it mean to say, That, "I loved you in my fashion"? What would be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you?" -- Sting   It's been a while, hasn't it? But it's that time of year again.  Sometimes I regret that I'm not writing on my blog nearly as much as I used to. It seems that my posts center around special family events and dates and I'm certainly not as prolific as I used to be. I write lots of things in my head or in my journals that just don't make it to social media and I hope those of you who continue to read my ramblings will accept my apologies for the long pauses in between my thoughts.  I suppose I'm saving it all for my next memoirs. When I'm rich and famous.  [pause for laughter] If I were to sum up my feelings right now abo...

"Death changes everything, but unlike what you may have seen or read, it doesn't offer profundities or epiphanies on its own. There's no time for that. It's only later, after the fact, while you're doing something normal -- cleaning the litter box or buying stamps -- that its power arrives. Because it is only life still going on in the present that makes what you've lost become part of the past."   -- Kristopher Jansma, reflecting on his sister's untimely death from oral cancer I read this last week in the middle of everything involving my father-in-law's death and funeral. There is so much truth in this statement and it has really stuck with me over the last few days. 

Over the last week or so, when people ask me, "How are you doing?" my response is "It's been a crazy few weeks." The emotional highs and lows of the last two months have made things a little chaotic in our household. It all began when Roger was called to Florida unexpectedly. His father (Robert), on vacation with Juanita Bonita in the RV, had been diagnosed with appendicitis and the results of the surgery had produced complications.The family was called together.  The birthday boy looks pretty! Meanwhile, plans were still in motion for an (at that point) surprise party for Roger's 50th birthday. As his father seemed to be on the mend, he made it back from Florida with about 4 hours to spare before the secret celebration. The party was a fun distraction and we had dozens of "good deeds" done in honor of Roger's birthday to share with him. Plus beer.  Just some of the many "good deeds" done in honor of Roger's 50th ...

It's the eve of my 40th birthday. A lot of people panic about forty. I've been thinking about this. A lot. In fact, if you have followed my blog for a while (at least a year) you know that it's been on my mind for...well... at least a year . I remember when my mother turned forty. It was only a big deal in the sense that it was a neat, round number. It was the first "major milestone" birthday that I remembered for a family member. Other than that, I didn't really get it. I didn't see it as "middle aged" or "over the hill" (It was 40 then. Isn't 50 the new 40?).  Now, here I am. I'm in the same place my mother was in 1987...in so many ways. Our eldest children were born in the shadow of our 30th birthdays. I was 29. My mom was 28. Within the next ten years, we would both face amazing joys and incredible challenges. For my mom, it was helping my father start his law practice and raising a family. For me, it was also launc...

The other day, as I was washing a glass pitcher in the kitchen, I suddenly flashed back to the memory of receiving the lovely gift. It was 2003 and we had recently moved into our home in Ashland; our first real home of our married life, after a series of rentals through the early days of marriage, graduate school, and 4 moves in 6 years. To mark the occasion of official home ownership, we invited friends and family to join us for a traditional house blessing. The assistant rector of our home church at the time (Trinity Episcopal in Fredericksburg) led our guests in a litany as we moved from room to room, acknowledging the blessing of shelter, recognizing the joy of community, and asking for peace, health, and security in the years to come. Then we celebrated in the most traditional way: with food, beverage, love, and laughter shared with good friends.  In the sacrament of baptism, we recognize a person's entrance into the church family. The congregation at large promises to supp...

As far as I'm concerned, Pixar can do no wrong. I've loved every movie. And I do mean LOVED; not just enjoyed. There are some who have tried to r ank all 15 movies from best to worst . I don't think I could do that; however, I do agree that Cars 2  falls at the bottom of a tightly ranked list of masterpieces. I'm a fan of Disney but I deeply admire Pixar. This isn't the first time I've waxed poetic about the genius that is Pixar . When I think about those specific elements that make their creative productions so great, it comes down to the way they capture the human experience.  Disney sells fairy tales and fantasies but Pixar tells fables. Pixar finds ways to explain the human experience through whimsical but powerful characters. Finding Nemo tackles the challenges of parenthood and how we must, at some point, learn to let go. The Incredibles helped us examine what happens to our dreams when we grow up and start a family. We can easily forget our dreams or...