I See What You Meme

As I spend my 2nd Mother's Day without my mother and my 10th Mother's Day without my One of my favorite multi-generational pics of me, my mom, and Charlotte.  first-born, I'm probably more reflective than usual. I blame the burgeoning pandemic . I'm still struggling with survivor guilt and an irrational, imaginary pressure to be more productive than I should be in a time of stress. I try to balance managing the influx of information for both my mental health and my need to be well-informed. I'm managing a new household with kids learning from home, replacing rehearsals and school with online tutoring, drum lessons, and playdates; none of which, by the way, are adequate substitutions for the real thing.  I'm trying to embrace the new opportunity for more restful weekends (much needed) with my desire to still do as much as I can to be a force for good. I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes by E.B. White:  "I arise in the morning torn between a...

Nothing like a little pandemic to get me writing again, huh?  I have so many thoughts in my brain right now. A simple social media post didn't seem the right venue. So I have picked up the blog to get these thoughts on paper. Or digital paper, as it were.  Ever since this COVID-19 crisis began, I have been struggling with information overload. There is the desire to be informed and the potential to be overwhelmed by it all. There is the need to filter out truth from fiction. There is the need to distance ourselves, both physically and emotionally sometimes, from others. My anxiety brain often has trouble turning it all off, even in "normal" times. These are not normal times. Many wise people have pointed out that we are in a period of collective grief . Like any grief, the process cycles between despair, denial, bargaining, anger, and acceptance. Sometimes I feel all of those in one day. I think that one of the things I struggle with the most in all of this is wha...

"Sometimes I see your face, The stars seem to lose their place Why must I think of you? Why must I? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Why would you want me to? And what would it mean to say, That, "I loved you in my fashion"? What would be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you?" -- Sting   It's been a while, hasn't it? But it's that time of year again.  Sometimes I regret that I'm not writing on my blog nearly as much as I used to. It seems that my posts center around special family events and dates and I'm certainly not as prolific as I used to be. I write lots of things in my head or in my journals that just don't make it to social media and I hope those of you who continue to read my ramblings will accept my apologies for the long pauses in between my thoughts.  I suppose I'm saving it all for my next memoirs. When I'm rich and famous.  [pause for laughter] If I were to sum up my feelings right now abo...