I See What You Meme

It's been a while since I used the blog to share my thoughts. What started as some random musings turned into much more than a Facebook post. I started writing this over a week ago but it's taken a minute to actually hit the publish button. Thanks for your patience. Welcome back.   It has been a week (or two) . One of those weeks where everything happens all at once. A week where things need to happen in a particular order or everything‘s going to go to shit. A week where you just seem to go from one thing to the next thing and you’ll figure out what’s going to happen next as it goes along. A week full of work and family and rest and sleeplessness and it never feels like there’s enough time for anything. But somehow it all works out.   A plaque on the library walk in NYC My week started with a trip for work to NYC. It coincided with my birthday. Because of that, I had all kinds of feelings all week about life in general. The week ended with a trip to Florida that, unfortun...

Welcome to a new year, although as many have noted, 2022 just seems to be starting like a variation on the past two years in so many ways (I almost used the word variant. That seems a little *too* on the nose) . Collectively, I think we are all tired. We are drained. We are exhausted. I admire anyone who feels renewed and reflective right now because (gosh darn it) the last two years have been something else.  Somewhere in the last week of 2021, the #10yearchallenge started popping up on social media. I'm not sure who started it or why it surfaced again. I remember this came up as 2019 turned over into 2020, which made sense. The turning of the decade and that nice round number always gives us something to cling to in a nostalgic way.  Did this one start as a bit of fun as people started confining themselves in quarantine instead of roaming off to New Year celebrations? Or is there something more nefarious  involved with the trending meme?  Who knows!? Either w...

This week, I will celebrate my birthday again.  Most years, I don't find my birthday to be an incredibly big deal.  As far as I'm concerned, my last major milestone birthday was 30. Ever since then, I have sometimes even found myself stumbling to even remember my own age. "I think I turn 34 this year.  Wait! No! How can I be 36 already?" Thirty nine feels a little bit different. I'm not going to say old. I don't really feel old. Most days. But 39 feels like something more significant. It's the eve of 40.  On my last major birthday (yes, we're still talking about 30), I had just become a mother for the first time. I was engaging in what I felt was truly "a career" (rather than "a job"), and I still felt like I had barely left college.  What a difference nine years makes in so many ways.  So to celebrate this personal milestone, I wanted to share some wisdom gleaned from 39 laps around the sun. Many of these thoughts aren'...

As the weather turns slowly from summer to fall, I am increasingly aware of other changes making their way into my life.  I don't fear change. In fact, I know that change is a "normal" part of the life process. If we push too hard against inevitable change, we meet resistance and frustration.  Sometimes, though, changes come on so slowly that we don't even notice the gradual shift until the "new" has been fully replaced by "the old". Some gradual changes... I'm writing less on a formal basis these days. There was no conscious decision about this. I have just become more involved in other things.  I still think about writing quite a bit and I often write "for myself" (journaling, etc.) but I am blogging on a less frequent basis and my writing for other publications has slowed down. It's ok because I know that everything cycles back around eventually. I'm reading more.  I had gone for a long time without reading f...

I will admit that I have been distracted. It has been WAY too long since I've blogged and the writing aspect of my life has been swept under the rug, placed on the back burner, pushed to the side, and every other procrastinatory metaphor you might imagine.    Procrastinatory. I thought I had just made that up but apparently some online dictionaries actually recognize it. Who knew? It's not that I haven't thought about writing. I get ideas almost every day.  Some go in my notebook. Some just get locked away into my brain for later use.   In my constant pursuit of balance , I have realized that I can't, unfortunately, do everything I might like in a 24 hour period and that I do need some opportunities to relax or my head will probably explode.   So to recap, here are a few things that have been taking up space in my brain in my life recently. Becoming a parent. Again. Our process towards becoming a Resource Parent with UMFS continues.  We hav...

I often feel that February is the longest month.   I realize that in terms of actual  days, it takes up the smallest space on the calendar.  However, February is the last full month of winter. For those of us who live in the land of seasons, it can be dark, cold, wet, and downright gloomy.  The seasonal cheer of Christmas is far behind us.  Valentines day is done.  The season of Lent is upon us, so for Christians, this is a time of sacrifice and reflection.  The days can drag on. It is around this time every year that I feel the itch of spring.  The Earth is feeling it as well.  Our bulbs are inching their way to the surface.  The leaves are making their final free-falls from some of our trees in an effort to make space for new buds and leaves. The stores are filling with Easter baskets, pastel dresses, and (heaven forbid!) bathing suits.  We have days where the temperature barely pushes 45 degrees.  On other days, we are...

The year is waning and yet everything seems to be ramping up, doesn't it? We always try to pack so much into a few weeks out of the year.  Sometimes I have to remember to slow down. This weekend, Roger and I had an opportunity for a road trip to Tiffin, Ohio. Never heard of it, you say? It's a small town in Northern Ohio, home to two private universities and a community of some amazing individuals.  Because of some of Roger's music connections, CJSTUF was selected as the beneficiary of Tiffin University's annual Holiday Concert at the Ritz Theater .  Roger also had a chance to perform as the "special guest" with the Jazz Vocal ensemble, singing, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year".  ( Editor's note: he rocked!) Hey! Who's that famous author in the coffee shop ? During our visit, we had a chance to meet many people. We had a book signing at a local coffee shop on Saturday with front row seats for the Christmas Parade!  Eve...

This post is not about politics. But it is about Election Day. This was quite a week. We voted. Candidates won. Candidates lost. We said goodbye to political ads for another year or so.  It was a lot to take in.   Charlotte: Election Day 2008 With all the events of the week, my thoughts continued to return to Charlotte.  I thought about how she always went with us to the polls.  Four years ago, she braved the lines and the rain to vote TWICE; once with me and once with her dad.  On election night, Charlotte had long since gone to sleep but Roger and I stayed up till after midnight, watching history unfold.  In the morning, we told her that Barack Obama was our new President.  She could recognize his face in magazines and on television and would say, "That's Barack Obama. He's our new president." Who could have guessed that barely two months from that date, as the President took the oath of office, we faced a whole new world that we never ex...

This has been a heck of a week.  Lots of craziness ensued with the anticipation and aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, the monster storm/perfect storm/weather event that could not be stopped.  Schedules have been disrupted, property has been damaged, and lives have been changed.  The recovery begins. My Mountains In between the madness, I took a scheduled trip to Boone, NC.  The primary purpose was a guest lecture opportunity at my former alma mater, Appalachian State University .  One of my former professors is teaching a class on syndromes and wanted some assistance with the autism portion of the class.  When I agreed to do this back in June, I had no idea what this weekend would have in store.  Originally, the weekend was going to be a road trip with my mom.  Friday morning, she woke up with a head cold.  Given the potential for nasty weather as well as my mom's intolerance for cold, we thought it best for me to make the trip on my own....

It's been a crazy few weeks, as you might have guessed by my unintended hiatus.  The biggest news is that I was selected by Style Weekly, a local Richmond publication, as one of the 2012 Forty Under 40 .  It is quite the local honor and I am humbled to be a part of such an incredible group of men and women.  It has been very interesting, though, to be "recognized" by not just friends and family but seemingly random people who I barely know.  As Roger has said, I'm "fa-moose".  I guess that's better than notorious. I have still been writing. I attended a writing workshop led by Carol Henderson for the second year in a row. It was an inspirational and therapeutic experience. At some point, I will probably share a few of my musings as soon as I can "flesh them out" a bit.  There are also tons of thoughts in my little brain. If only I could get them out all at once! The speaking and signing events have been a little slow as of late; how...

I am finally sitting down to write a blog after almost three weeks of absence.  It's not like I didn't have things to say. The word "blog" has been on my to-do list every since we returned from Boone .   It just didn't happen.   Every time I would set out to write, something else would get in the way.  I was busy in my new job , which has involved some long hours and hectic days of late. I was busy keeping things updated with CJSTUF , getting preparations going for our various fundraisers, including the upcoming Art Auction this October.  I was rehearsing (or playing) at ComedySportz .   I did happen to find enough time to write a piece for Richmond Mom about the latest news at Chick-fil-A .  That seemed to light a fire in the discussion boards.   Oh, and somewhere in all of this I was trying to find moments to relax.  At times like this, I realize that the amounts of time and energy at my disposal are finite and pr...

The past week has seen such a whirlwind of activity, I almost forgot to share another major announcement.  As most of you know, when I'm not leading the uber-glamorous life of a newly published author or trying to keep things organized at CJSTUF , you can find me working at Commonwealth Autism Service .  As challenging as my job can be, I really love it.   Recently, I was offered a new challenge at work.  Our agency has been working with a local private school in the area for a few years now. Because of some developments in the past year, Commonwealth Autism Service has taken on a larger role in operating the school.  As of July 1st, not only will the Dominion School be operated by CAS but I was selected to be the principal.   Yes. You heard that correctly.  I am going to be the principal of a school.   Isn't that crazy? First of all, I'm honored that my boss and the others at my agency feel so strongly that I was the best candidate ...

It is 12:30 AM and I am still so wired I can't sleep. The book release party was a-MAZE-ing.  Where do I begin? Me...in book signing mode! First of all, Roger and my best friend Jamie conspired to surprise me and they succeeded!  Jamie is my oldest and one of my dearest friends .  She also happens to be the photographer who took the cover photo for Four Seasons for Charlotte .  When I told her about the date for the book release party, I realized that she probably wouldn't be able to attend.  She does, after all, live in Florida. For the last few weeks, she has been sending me messages of congratulations, telling me how sorry she was that she couldn't make it.  I promised to send her one of the first copies.  What I didn't know was that she was working with Roger to visit this weekend.  She showed up at the book signing and totally made my day.  Getting to spend the last few hours just chatting with an old friend: Priceless.  I ...

I did not write this poem.  It was shared with me about a year ago and I love it because it is very TRUE. Don't forget: you can still enter the giveaway for my book .  What is a question you have always wanted to ask a grieving parent? No question is too off the wall! Follow this link to enter the giveaway.  Contest ends June 1.   What People Give You by Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno Long-faced irises. Mums. Pink roses and white roses and giant sunflowers, and hundreds of daisies. Fruit baskets with muscular pears, and water crackers and tiny jams and the steady march of casseroles. And money, people give money these days. Cards, of course: the Madonna, wise and sad just for you, Chinese cherry blossoms, sunsets and moonscapes, and dragonflies for transcendence. People stand by your sink and offer up their pain: Did you know I lost a baby once, or My eldest son was killed, or My mother died two months ago. People are good. They file ...

Thanks to everyone who commented on the first book excerpt I posted a few weeks ago.  I thought you might enjoy another sneak peek excerpt of my forthcoming book, Four Seasons for Charlotte: A Parent's Year With Pediatric Cancer .   The book will be available on May 15th but you can pre-order now!   If you will be in the Ashland, VA area on May 17th, you are welcome to attend the Book Release Party at Gallery Flux in Ashland from 6-9 PM.  This excerpt is from Chapter 4: Course of Treatment. I also like to refer to this as the "Cancer is a Hurricane" excerpt.  Charlotte turned four on July 9, 2009. Her birthdays had always been cause for celebration, but this year was a bonus beyond measure. Her party was at Romp n’ Roll. We sent out an open invitation to everyone in our support circle: Bring no presents. Just show up, wear Charlotte’s favorite colors (pink and/or purple), and help us celebrate. We had not just one but three birthday cakes donated for th...

As promised, I am bringing you a sneak peek excerpt from my forthcoming book, Four Seasons for Charlotte . The book will be available May 15th. You can currently pre-order at Amazon and Barnes and Noble . You can also add the book to your Goodreads queue ! Stay tuned for book release party info! This is an excerpt from Chapter 10, titled "Bringing Up Baby". I'm including the very beginning and very end of the chapter so you can get some context. Believe it or not, I reach a startling epiphany around....poop.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen.  You read that correctly.  Poop.  Here we go... Before Charlotte was born, well-meaning parents and friends kept repeating the same tired mantra, “You know, after your baby is born, your life is never going to be the same.” Roger and I both thought this was one of the most ridiculous things anyone could say to us. Wasn’t this a given? Who, in their right mind, had any idea that after a baby entered your life it would continue t...