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Storm Clouds A-brewin'

I meant to blog yesterday. I tried. It wasn't for lack of material but lack of...energy? 
will? 
drive? 
All of the above?

I blame it on the calendar. 

I was doing ok for a while and now July 9th looms large on the horizon. 

These days, grief comes and goes. I've actually gotten to a point where the day-to-day is pretty tolerable

But it's the holidays that get you. They're the real challenge.

The storm clouds started brewing over the weekend and seem to have come to rest over the house. At the moment, it all just seems to be sitting there. Waiting. It's like a big weight sitting on my shoulders. It's exhausting. I came home last night intending to answer emails and write reports and blog and exercise and fold laundry. I did none of that. I sat on the couch reading a book and watching TV.

The only benefit of the passage of time is that you have some experience to help you gauge your feelings. It really is all relative. 

We'll talk about this further over the next week or two. Trust me. But I'll leave you with this: I don't need virtual {{{{{HUGS}}}}} or pity or sympathy. I will cry a lot in the next few weeks. I may be a bit grumpy. I may be a bit distracted. I may not work at my peak performance level. 

This much I know is true: I know that I'm a strong survivor.
If I've learned anything lately, it's that a few storm clouds aren't going to hold me back. 
I can handle a hurricane. It just might mean hunkering down for a few days.

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