CJ's Daddy

At the beginning of chapter 3 of Four Seasons for Charlotte, I wrote:

"If someone had walked up to me on the day that Roger and I meet and said, 'This is the man you are going to marry,' I would  have questioned that person's sanity."


Readers who haven't known Roger and I for the decade and a half (plus!) that we have been together have remarked amusingly on this comment.  In fact, they have demanded photographic proof of the "hip graduate student majoring in Jazz Studies with long hair, a dangly earring, and wild clothes."  


Ladies and gentlemen, I offer you photographic evidence:


Exhibit A:The college ID, circa mid 90s.  Yes, Roger had hair.  























Exhibit B: The fashion choices.  This was during a trip to Key West in 1995.  Note the stylish weightlifting pants and funky hat. Also note that Roger was not a weightlifter. I think he felt a deep fashion bond with the car we found along Duval Street.  

 This was our first trip to Disney World together.  Please note he is still wearing the hat from the previous photo but traded the funky pants for a funky poncho.  I believe there is also a fanny pack on his body although it's hidden by the poncho.  Yes.  A fanny pack.  He's posing with Tigger, his alter ego. 






Also note: I haven't changed a bit since the mid 90's.  

All kidding aside, somehow I knew back then, despite our differences, that Roger and I were made for each other.  Our personalities created balance in the universe.  Have you seen that article from Salon floating around over the last few weeks about Order Muppets and Chaos Muppets?  I don't need to tell you who is who in this relationship.  I'm Bunsen Honeydew to his Beaker.  I'm the Sam the Eagle to his Fozzie Bear.  

Roger, on his first day as CJ's Daddy

This balance has helped our relationship in so many ways; however, perhaps the area where it most impacted us was in our role as parents.  We had been married for almost 8 years before Charlotte arrived so we were an "old married couple" by many people's standards.  Almost instantly, we assumed our respective roles in the triad that became our little family.  I might have been the one who brought order, but Roger brought a special kind of peace to our family.  He was always calm with Charlotte.  He was always patient with her.  He was always there to marvel at every little amazing thing that she did.  When she made a mistake or needed redirection (we will admit, it happened once or twice), he altered her path like a Zen master.  She hardly even knew she was in trouble...but she knew how to fix it for the next time.  

Roger and Charlotte were their own little mutual admiration society.  He adored his daughter and she adored her daddy.  It was Roger who took Charlotte to that doctor's appointment on January 20, 2009 and calmed her in the CT scanner.  It was Roger who calmly and eloquently shared the butterfly analogy that changed our perspective on her imminent death.  It was Roger who carried her body to the funeral home car only hours after she had taken her last breath.  


He is and always will be CJ's Daddy. He is amazing.