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Showing posts from March, 2014

Installment Parenting

As they day approaches (tomorrow!) for Kiddo to officially become a "regular" part of our lives, reflections and musings continue.   Rationally and legally, we know that Kiddo will not really be "ours" until the adoption papers are finalized, and that will probably take at least  a year.  At the same time, she has definitely captured our hearts.  We are hooked. Perhaps I'm overly optimistic, but I find it highly unlikely that anything would happen on our  end to keep this adoption from becoming a reality.  At the same time, I have no illusions that this will be smooth sailing.  Any child who enters a family through the foster care system will bring her share of challenges and fears.  I have heard comments from many people as we have engaged in this process that fall along the lines of, " She is so lucky to have you." and "You are very special people to do this. " I don't completely disagree with those statements, but I don't know

Lessons Learned with Kiddo

The countdown continues! Our overnight visit with Kiddo went very well.  She settled in to our house nicely, demonstrating natural curiosity about everything, and we had a great (almost) 24 hours with her.  No broken bones. No temper tantrums. No disasters. And I'm just talking about Roger and me.   We did learn some important things this weekend.   Here are the top 5 tidbits we can share: So, remember how we told you that Kiddo was 6? Yeah. About that.  Apparently, she's 7. While we were absorbing all of the other information about her, she had a birthday during the time between her initial referral and our first meetup. We completely blocked out the fat that she had turned a year older.  Oh well.  Ice cubes in the bathtub are the best stress reliever ever.  In one of our earliest meetings with Kiddo, we shared with her that throwing ice cubes into a bathtub can be a great way to relieve anger (Thanks, Katya, for that Pro Tip!) . It makes noise but doesn't do an

T-minus Kiddo

When you find yourself willing to share many aspects of your life online, there is an expected amount of attention that you know is going to come your way.  We learned this during Charlotte's illness.  Roger or I would post a Caring Bridge blog. Within days (or sometimes hours) of the post, we would see folks out in the community and they would already be "up to date" on our news.  Instead of, "What's new with Charlotte?" we got "I just read your update and...".  It did sometimes save time and effort in retelling stories. Plus, we always felt that the community knew what  we needed when  we needed it. As I have continued the blog after Charlotte's death, not much has changed.  Going through times of challenge and grief , the community continues to walk beside us, crying empathic tears and shouting with joy when the moments presented themselves.  I know that this type of self-expression isn't for everyone, but it works for us. Now we ar