I See What You Meme

It's been a little over a year in our journey with Kiddo and we are excited to say that the day is finally here! She is officially out of foster care and we are her legal guardians. We are her adoptive parents! A new birth certificate is on its way to our house! People of the Interwebs, meet our daughter Prudense! Our original plan was to have an official ceremony with the judge and all but due to some miscommunication with either the lawyer or the courts, the adoption order was signed without us. It's ok, though.   We shared the official news with Prudense on Saturday and she was, of course, thrilled. We have considered her our daughter for quite a while now, so in some ways the reality of the official adoption order was a little strange. Now, however, we can make many decisions (medical, educational, etc.) without running everything by a caseworker. That's a big change! We are also thrilled that her case worker through social services recently transferred to ...

We have hit the one month mark with Kiddo officially in our home! Hooray! When I run into people, so many ask, "How are things going?" and most of the time, all I can really say is, "Great!"  I think it is going very well.  Our life is not without its hiccups and bumps.  Some days, the morning or evening routine runs smoother than others. Some days she's sad. Some days, she frustrates us. Some days we have so much fun I can hardly contain myself.   My new Happy Hour includes sassy nail design. So this is what parenting is like (again)!  In some ways, I feel like I never left. I have always worked in jobs involving kids so spending time with Kiddo feels natural as well. Of course, she is different from the kids I work with in the community and she is also different from Charlotte. There are many similarities as well, though. All you need to do is look on Facebook or spend some time chatting with your fellow friends who are parents to realize that we a...

As they day approaches (tomorrow!) for Kiddo to officially become a "regular" part of our lives, reflections and musings continue.   Rationally and legally, we know that Kiddo will not really be "ours" until the adoption papers are finalized, and that will probably take at least  a year.  At the same time, she has definitely captured our hearts.  We are hooked. Perhaps I'm overly optimistic, but I find it highly unlikely that anything would happen on our  end to keep this adoption from becoming a reality.  At the same time, I have no illusions that this will be smooth sailing.  Any child who enters a family through the foster care system will bring her share of challenges and fears.  I have heard comments from many people as we have engaged in this process that fall along the lines of, " She is so lucky to have you." and "You are very special people to do this. " I don't completely disagree with those statements, but I don't know ...

When you find yourself willing to share many aspects of your life online, there is an expected amount of attention that you know is going to come your way.  We learned this during Charlotte's illness.  Roger or I would post a Caring Bridge blog. Within days (or sometimes hours) of the post, we would see folks out in the community and they would already be "up to date" on our news.  Instead of, "What's new with Charlotte?" we got "I just read your update and...".  It did sometimes save time and effort in retelling stories. Plus, we always felt that the community knew what  we needed when  we needed it. As I have continued the blog after Charlotte's death, not much has changed.  Going through times of challenge and grief , the community continues to walk beside us, crying empathic tears and shouting with joy when the moments presented themselves.  I know that this type of self-expression isn't for everyone, but it works for us. Now we ar...

I know an update is in order. First, thanks to everyone for the outpouring of support that Roger and I felt with my last posting .  We are also excited about this new adventure in our lives and I am touched by the offerings of toys, playdates, and help we received already. We have had a few more visits with Kiddo .  She is doing very well at her temporary placement and we are enjoying getting to know her.  It is interesting and strange to fall into the parenting role again.  This is compounded largely by the fact that while our hope is to make our home Kiddo's   permanent home, there are still many steps to take before that happens. A few common questions have come up from friends so I thought I might answer some of them here.  First of all, it's important to know that the process of adoption for older children like Kiddo  takes a significant amount of time.  For at least the first 6 months, Kiddo  will continue to be considered a fos...

Today was a very momentous day.  I will preface all of this with a simple fact that everyone involved in our journey will need to accept: due to confidentiality, there are some things that we just can't share.   With that said, I will tell you that we met a beautiful girl today.  For now, let's call her " Kiddo ".   Kiddo  is 6 years old and after a brief 30 day stay in a residential placement, she will be coming into our home with the intention of adoption. There have been lots of meetings, phone calls, and logistical maneuverings leading up to the events of today and I won't bore you with the minutiae.  Basically, Kiddo's social worker met us (and our UMFS intake coordinators) at UMFS for lunch today.  Until now, all we knew about Kiddo was on paper and via case worker reports.  She hadn't seen a picture of us either.   When we asked her what she knew about what was happening right now, she said, "I'm going to go stay at [resident...