I See What You Meme

Yes. It's been a long time since I've blogged. Doesn't mean my mind hasn't been churning.  It's *Diagnosis Day*. The picture below was taken by Roger as they were waiting at the hospital for CAT scan results on January 20, 2009. I shared our story yesterday at a Synapse meeting, rather unexpectedly. A "teaser" from another member about the  Thumbs Up Ball 2018  and the pending anniversary of this date were both combining factors that helped me decide to share the story. This day in 2009 is forever etched in my brain. There are few details that I have forgotten. I remember Roger picking me up from a full morning of teaching at Romp n' Roll after he'd already spent hours with Charlotte at the pediatricia n and at St. Mary's for a CAT scan. I remember grabbing a quick lunch from the Drive-Thru of Chick-fil-A, but not really wanting to eat anything. (Not wanting to eat CFA? I know! Right?) I remember using my non-smart phone to call friends ...

If there's one thing I've learned on this parenting journey, it's that everyone travels through this experience looking through a lens that is tinted by their own experiences, the way they were raised by their own family, their education, and their personalities.  From the very beginning of parenthood...even before the child pops out of the womb...we, as parents, are bombarded with suggestions and recommendations. Get a doula. Get an epidural. Don't get an epidural. Don't ever co-sleep. Follow your child's lead. Don't feed them solids until they are six months old. Feed them solids early and they will sleep through the night sooner. Enroll them in classes to stimulate their brain. Let them be "free spirits" and explore and play.  In the words of the great Jimmy Buffett, "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." It's with all this in mind that I reflect on one parenting perspective that is unique to those who have ch...

In The Waste Land , TS Eliot pontificates that "April is the cruelest month".  In our world, January seems to fit the bill.   January 22, 2009 Right before her first brain surgery First, there are the obvious anniversaries.  Charlotte died on January 7, 2010.  Her diagnosis day was January 20, 2009. That was the moment in time when our world changed forever.  Today (1/22) marks the day of her first brain surgery.  The path of our lives for the next year was fixed at that point.  Our focus was on Charlotte and little else.  January 2009 shaped our lives in a way that few other moments in history ever can.  Then there is the cumulative effect.   The holidays are hard .  In fact, once November hits, all I can really think about are those final days with our daughter.  The Make-A-Wish trip. The reading vigil. The moments watching her decline and anticipating her passing.  These memories converge with opportunites to ...