I See What You Meme

As I sit here writing this, I mark 13 years since I was in labor with Charlotte. I am the mom of a teenager. And yet, I’m not. Every year, Charlotte’s birthday hits me a different way. Every year in the grief process is a little bit different. The arrival of her birthday so close on the heels of the end of the school year frequently triggers thoughts for me about how Charlotte’s peers continue to move forward while she Seriously. Kids these days... remains frozen in time as a four year old. As the school year ends, I see her peers moving on to middle school, attending dances, achieving milestones, and just plain getting older (Puberty! Eek!). It always leaves a twinge of jealousy and sadness in my heart. I try to imagine what she would be like, what her interests would be. Knowing how much she was my “mini-me” as a youngster, I lift up hope that she might have strayed from my junior high life as an awkward, frizzy-haired, coke-bottle-eyeglass-wearing teenager. ...

It's an odd time of year. The seasons are in flux. The days are getting markedly shorter. We have shifted from waking up in the dark to driving home in the dark.  One day, the weather requires jackets and gloves.  The next day, you're wearing shorts and sweating in the sun.  All of this chaos seems to breed instability.  I am all but convinced that is why our collective unconscious uses this time of year to celebrate the dead .   Does that sound morbid?  Halloween in itself is a dichotomy between fanciful fantasy and morbid horror.  It's a day to be someone (or something) we are not. For some, that could be a kitty cat, a princess, or a cartoon character.  For others, it's a zombie or a grotesque monster.  Are we communing with the dead, scaring away the demons, or just playing make believe in an effort to escape that which we fear?  In the Christian tradition, Halloween is followed by All Saints Day. Although technically celebrat...

Here we are at Holy Week.  What a crazy Lenten Season this has been.  There is a new Pope on the block . Although I'm not Catholic, the transition seems to have implications across faiths and around the world and Pope Francis is an interesting guy, to say the least.   Sometimes, you just gotta go for the grilled cheese with fresh tomato and basil.  I gave up french fries and soda for Lent.  It was a good choice because I found myself falling into bad habits with my eating and those are two things that can be vices for me.  I only cheated once.  I really really  wanted a grilled cheese sandwich at this restaurant in Charlottesville and there were no "side substitutes".  Yes, I know I could have just not eaten the fries .  I cheated.  I will say 2 Rosaries and 3 Hail Marys.  Oh yeah. I'm not Catholic. In all seriousness, though, my view on Lenten sacrifice is that whatever habit I choose as my focus, whether it is giving up...

It's Easter Sunday. For many, it is a day of rejoicing. It is, most certainly, one of the most important and Holiest of days in the Christian calendar. I cannot celebrate. Holidays are difficult enough at this point in my life but this week has hit me particularly hard.  First, there was the license plate mess .  On the surface, it seemed a trivial matter but the sentimental value of that plate made the loss more substantial in my mind.  Abbie celebrating her birthday last year at Romp n' Roll Yesterday, we felt a loss that cuts to a much deeper level. Cancer warrior Abbie Waters , a brave girl who just turned 9 this week, lost her battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma.  In our cancer journey, we have met many families. We have had the opportunity to know not only the boys and girls battling disease but their parents as well. Abbie now becomes the 5th child that I have known personally who has died way too soon.   There is no question that you feel a loss when a...

This week's musings are of a religious nature...inspired by current events. First, this week Pope Benedict made an official declaration that "the Jews were not responsible for killing Jesus."  First of all, I thought we resolved this in 1965 during Vatican II , ( The Sequel: This Time, it's Holier Than Thou) so I'm not really sure why the announcement is "news".  I know that the announcement coincided with the release of the Pope's latest soon to be best-seller Jesus of Nazareth, Part II (Seriously.  Everyone's got to publish these days.) but the more I thought about this bit of news the more it puzzled me.  As Christians, we believe that Jesus came to Earth as God in human form.  Aside from his short but amazing ministry, his primary purpose was to die for the sins of the world.  His death and subsequent resurrection is the tangible symbol of God's everlasting Grace.  Yes, his death was incredibly violent.  Crucifixion is a horrible ...