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Installment Parenting

As they day approaches (tomorrow!) for Kiddo to officially become a "regular" part of our lives, reflections and musings continue.  

 Rationally and legally, we know that Kiddo will not really be "ours" until the adoption papers are finalized, and that will probably take at least a year.  At the same time, she has definitely captured our hearts.  We are hooked. Perhaps I'm overly optimistic, but I find it highly unlikely that anything would happen on our end to keep this adoption from becoming a reality. 

 At the same time, I have no illusions that this will be smooth sailing.  Any child who enters a family through the foster care system will bring her share of challenges and fears.  I have heard comments from many people as we have engaged in this process that fall along the lines of, "She is so lucky to have you." and "You are very special people to do this." I don't completely disagree with those statements, but I don't know any parenting journeys that come without a challenge or two of their own.  I think part of our ease with the process is the fact that we have already faced down our worst fears.  And we survived. It's kind of hard to imagine a WORSE case scenario.  Roger and I have spent the last 5 years learning how to roll with the punches. I suppose that has made us stronger people. I can only hope it also makes me a better parent. 

 Roger has taken to calling this experience parenting on the installment plan.  We have been given such a wonderful opportunity to get to know Kiddo slowly, with short visits turning into longer stays.  Even this next piece of the journey carries quite a bit of impermanence. Roger remarked this weekend, "Maybe everyone should become parents this way."  There is something to be said for that, especially if the support that we get through therapeutic foster care was given to everyone on the parenting journey.   

 Some highlights from this weekend included a hair cut (6 inches chopped off and the addition of bangs!), Sweet Frog, swimming at the Y, and a visit to church.  She dominated the Children's Sermon (in a good way), demonstrating her excellent grasp on how and why we talk to God through prayer.  She also did a great job meeting so many new people. While many of you know about Kiddo through this blog, she's just getting to know everyone else in our world.  Sometimes these interactions would start out hesitantly but she has done a great job meeting all our friends. 

 The only real tears or frustration we saw happened when we had to say goodbye for the day.  She was so worried about missing us!  We tried to remind her that in 16 short hours, she would be back with us "for good".  Tomorrow and the week to come brings lots of paperwork, enrollment forms, meetings and more.  Here we go...
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