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Showing posts from 2016

Bah, Humbug!

I don't have Christmas spirit this year. It's not surprising, given everything that has been going on in our world. Things have been off kilter ever since my mom's diagnosis with multiple health issues in October and has reached a fever pitch over the last few weeks. For more details, you can check out my mom's CaringBridge journal .  As time has inched closer to Christmas, I find myself less and less interested in the holiday this year. We had already decided not to put up a tree because we thought we would be traveling to Florida on Christmas day. All those plans have come to a screeching halt. I was going to do some decorating with smaller items (stockings and wreaths, etc.) but my time has been swallowed up by phone calls with doctors, counselors, family members, and friends. Not to mention four visits to the ER and about eight visits from police officers to our house over the last few weeks.  I realized on Wednesday just how bad it was when I went to a requisi

Off Balance

Just when you think life is approaching some sense of balance, something comes along to throw you off kilter.  At least that's the way it seems lately.  Many of you heard this week that my mom has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. My mom...and me at about 4 months Although she's been experiencing some medical challenges for a few months, it has taken a while to put all the seemingly disconnected symptoms together and discover the diagnosis. Looking back, it's not all that surprising since Multiple Myeloma is extremely rare (only about .7% of the population has a lifetime risk of contracting it) and really difficult to diagnose in early stages.  Over the last few weeks, I've found myself reflecting with a range of emotions on the entire experience. Here we are again, (almost) eight years later, with a very serious medical diagnosis impacting our family. It is interesting how quickly I can fall back into some of the rhythms that emerge when a loved one is

Why Should I Cry For You?

"Sometimes I see your face, The stars seem to lose their place Why must I think of you? Why must I? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Why would you want me to? And what would it mean to say, That, "I loved you in my fashion"? What would be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you?" -- Sting   It's been a while, hasn't it? But it's that time of year again.  Sometimes I regret that I'm not writing on my blog nearly as much as I used to. It seems that my posts center around special family events and dates and I'm certainly not as prolific as I used to be. I write lots of things in my head or in my journals that just don't make it to social media and I hope those of you who continue to read my ramblings will accept my apologies for the long pauses in between my thoughts.  I suppose I'm saving it all for my next memoirs. When I'm rich and famous.  [pause for laughter] If I were to sum up my feelings right now abo

To Everything There is a Season

"Death changes everything, but unlike what you may have seen or read, it doesn't offer profundities or epiphanies on its own. There's no time for that. It's only later, after the fact, while you're doing something normal -- cleaning the litter box or buying stamps -- that its power arrives. Because it is only life still going on in the present that makes what you've lost become part of the past."   -- Kristopher Jansma, reflecting on his sister's untimely death from oral cancer I read this last week in the middle of everything involving my father-in-law's death and funeral. There is so much truth in this statement and it has really stuck with me over the last few days. 

My Roller Coaster Valentine

Over the last week or so, when people ask me, "How are you doing?" my response is "It's been a crazy few weeks." The emotional highs and lows of the last two months have made things a little chaotic in our household. It all began when Roger was called to Florida unexpectedly. His father (Robert), on vacation with Juanita Bonita in the RV, had been diagnosed with appendicitis and the results of the surgery had produced complications.The family was called together.  The birthday boy looks pretty! Meanwhile, plans were still in motion for an (at that point) surprise party for Roger's 50th birthday. As his father seemed to be on the mend, he made it back from Florida with about 4 hours to spare before the secret celebration. The party was a fun distraction and we had dozens of "good deeds" done in honor of Roger's birthday to share with him. Plus beer.  Just some of the many "good deeds" done in honor of Roger's 50th