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Dear Charlotte...

Dear Sweet Charlotte,


Time plays tricks on us.  It does strange things.  



It seems like just yesterday that you left us.  Yesterday, though, marked two years since we planted your butterfly bush.  It was Easter 2010.  When you died, we had your body cremated. We chose a special urn that functioned as a biodegradable planter. A good friend gave us a beautiful butterfly bush. We spent our Easter morning planting that tiny seedling in the ground, using your ashes as part of the fertilizer. 


In the two years since you have been gone, that butterfly bush has grown.  It has attracted many butterflies each summer.  We love tending your garden. We have added purple echinacea on either side of the bush. This year, I added four more purple tinted flowering perennials.  Sometimes people leave anonymous butterfly-themed gifts near the garden.  We love them. Your dad takes time every day to look at the garden. No matter the season, we feel your presence there.  





Now the butterfly bush is almost as tall as you were when you died.  I saw a  your Easter picture from 2008 yesterday. You are standing in the embroidered dress we bought in Mexico.  You are standing in almost exactly the same spot where your plant now resides.


This morning, I was driving to work, thinking of you, and one of my favorite songs came on my iPod.  Susan Greenbaum says it so much better than I can:


This Life (Excerpt)
by Susan Greenbaum

Just reporting in
Catching you up on how I've been
It's 365 again this week.

Hot and humid here
Same as every other year
It's sweat or a tear on my cheek.

Another year passes
I gave up my glasses
I gave up my job, my smoke and mirrors

Another year over
I'm still growing clover
I'm still tryin' to face down all my fears.

But I'm living a good life
I'm living a fine life
Living the sweetest roses and wine life
And I know you're near me
I hope you can hear me
I hope you can see into this life.

Keeping track of the time
Keeping up on the climb
Do you need me to tell and show
Or do you already know?

I'll always think of you.
Somehow it helps to get me through.
I hope that you're listening to this song.

I'll give you all the news
Your memory will be my muse.
And I'll probably go on too long.

I wish I had answers
To cure all the cancers
To give all the chancers their own say.

Just know that I think of you 
Every day I do
Every day

You're still in my heart, doodle-bug. I miss you oodles and bunches. 
Love,
Mom







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