The Next Big Thing

So unless you've been completely out of the loop for the last 6 months or so, you know that Roger and I have been in the process of training and approval to become Resource Parents (foster/adoptive parents) with UMFS. On Wednesday, we crossed another threshold with our "opening meeting". At this meeting, we signed all the final paperwork (Yes. MORE paperwork!) to become Resource Parents.

Now we wait. We could have opened our home immediately. In fact, they told us that they have some referrals "in mind" for us already. However, we needed to get through the holiday season and (more importantly), January 7th before officially opening our home. I know that these dates and anniversaries will come our way again; however, Roger and I both felt that it was important to get our minds set before welcoming a new child into our home.

Am I excited? Yes.
Am I terrified? Heck, yes!

But most parents are when waiting for a child to enter their lives, right?

I have noticed many similarities and differences with the "traditional" parenting trajectory. Here are a few things that I note are considerable advantages for our situation.

We are expecting a child but nobody wants to touch my belly. If random people start touching my body, I am well within my rights to call the police. Similarly, I'm not subjected to such inane comments as, "Are you sure you're not carrying twins?" "You're gonna drop that kid any day!" and "You're looking bigger all the time!"
Since we are accepting older children (our age range is about 3 years to 13 years) we don't need a crib or infant toys. Sure, babies are cute but I really have no desire to go back to that stage of development on a long-term basis.
I can enjoy a glass of wine every evening, even while we are still "expecting." No dietary restrictions for me!
I don't have to plan a maternity leave or a hospital stay. I'm not subjected to monthly (or weekly) invasions of my most sensitive areas just to see how my parenthood is "progressing".
Whenever I think about the possible anxiety that the unknown brings, I also remember that we have done this before. We have raised a child through what is probably one of the most difficult events any parent can experience. Sometimes that makes us feel super confident. I know there will be individual challenges to our new situation. There will be challenges that we may never be able to predict. But I'm ready for the challenge.

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement as we begin this new adventure. Stay tuned. The best is yet to come!

The Edge of Seventeen

It's that time of year when the blog musings center on my grief journey. Every year, it seems like we are busy with end-of-the-year school activities and the start of summer, planning vacations, and then (kablam)...it's almost July 9. Grief is funny. Grief is weird. I remember very early after Charlotte died, I watched the movie Rabbit Hole. There's an amazingly poignant scene where Nicole Kidman's character is talking with another woman who lost a child over 10 years before (played by Dianne Wiest). She talks about grief being like a brick in your pocket. It never goes away. Sometimes you can even forget it's there. But it comes back and makes its presence known from time to time. And (she says) "it's what you have of them." I probably did not fully realize then what a powerful and true analogy that is. As time goes on, our grief changes. Yet, it is always there on the edge of things. It sits in that pocket and sometimes makes itself known. This...

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I was sitting in a doctor's office waiting room a few weeks ago. While I waited, another patient came out into the reception area to make her next appointment. The receptionist offered a few dates, including one on a Saturday. The woman (I have no idea who she was; let's call her Maude) originally said yes to the Saturday date. Then the following conversation ensued: Maude: Wait! Is that Mother's Day weekend? Receptionist: Hmm. You know what? I'm not sure. When is Mother's Day? Maude: You don't know? Receptionist: (nervous laugh) Well, I guess I should know this.... Maude: Are you a mother? Receptionist: No. Maude: But...you have a mother, right? You should know these things! At this point, I was incensed with "Maude". This woman knew nothing about the receptionist. She could have recently lost a child. She could have been struggling with infertility. She could have had a mother who recently died. Or she could have a strained or just very compli...

I See What You Meme

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