I know an update is in order.
First, thanks to everyone for the outpouring of support that Roger and I felt with my last posting. We are also excited about this new adventure in our lives and I am touched by the offerings of toys, playdates, and help we received already.
We have had a few more visits with Kiddo. She is doing very well at her temporary placement and we are enjoying getting to know her. It is interesting and strange to fall into the parenting role again. This is compounded largely by the fact that while our hope is to make our home Kiddo's permanent home, there are still many steps to take before that happens.
A few common questions have come up from friends so I thought I might answer some of them here. First of all, it's important to know that the process of adoption for older children like Kiddo takes a significant amount of time. For at least the first 6 months, Kiddo will continue to be considered a foster placement with us. This means that our role is largely about building a relationship with her, keeping her safe, and keeping her healthy. We can't make a lot of decisions. We can't sign off as her guardian for anything. Her guardian will still be considered Department of Social Services. After 6 months, there will be further discussion about permanency. This will lead to an additional 6 months of possible joint custody and all of the steps that must be put into place before adoption can move forward.
Some of you have offered to babysit or help with Kiddo's care. While we appreciate these offers, only those approved, trained, and certified by UMFS will be allowed to care for Kiddo in case of our absence for any reason. Fortunately, my brother and another friend have stepped up to the plate for this purpose. We will also have access to respite services if need be. Playdates, on the other hand, are more than welcome and we look forward to setting those up.
As I ease back into this parenting experience, I have been reminded of my first days as a parent following Charlotte's birth. At less than a week of age, we had to admit Charlotte to the hospital for "failure to thrive". The biggest learning curve in the experience was suddenly making decisions on behalf of this little human as her "mother". I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth when I approached the nurse's station to say, "My daughter needs..." Slowly, of course, the shock of that experience wore off until one of my primary sources of identity was (and continues to be) that of "CJ's Mama".
I'm acquiring a new identity again. I will be Kiddo's foster parent and then, with lots of luck, time, and fortitude, hopefully I will be HER mother as well.
First, thanks to everyone for the outpouring of support that Roger and I felt with my last posting. We are also excited about this new adventure in our lives and I am touched by the offerings of toys, playdates, and help we received already.
We have had a few more visits with Kiddo. She is doing very well at her temporary placement and we are enjoying getting to know her. It is interesting and strange to fall into the parenting role again. This is compounded largely by the fact that while our hope is to make our home Kiddo's permanent home, there are still many steps to take before that happens.
A few common questions have come up from friends so I thought I might answer some of them here. First of all, it's important to know that the process of adoption for older children like Kiddo takes a significant amount of time. For at least the first 6 months, Kiddo will continue to be considered a foster placement with us. This means that our role is largely about building a relationship with her, keeping her safe, and keeping her healthy. We can't make a lot of decisions. We can't sign off as her guardian for anything. Her guardian will still be considered Department of Social Services. After 6 months, there will be further discussion about permanency. This will lead to an additional 6 months of possible joint custody and all of the steps that must be put into place before adoption can move forward.
Some of you have offered to babysit or help with Kiddo's care. While we appreciate these offers, only those approved, trained, and certified by UMFS will be allowed to care for Kiddo in case of our absence for any reason. Fortunately, my brother and another friend have stepped up to the plate for this purpose. We will also have access to respite services if need be. Playdates, on the other hand, are more than welcome and we look forward to setting those up.
As I ease back into this parenting experience, I have been reminded of my first days as a parent following Charlotte's birth. At less than a week of age, we had to admit Charlotte to the hospital for "failure to thrive". The biggest learning curve in the experience was suddenly making decisions on behalf of this little human as her "mother". I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth when I approached the nurse's station to say, "My daughter needs..." Slowly, of course, the shock of that experience wore off until one of my primary sources of identity was (and continues to be) that of "CJ's Mama".
I'm acquiring a new identity again. I will be Kiddo's foster parent and then, with lots of luck, time, and fortitude, hopefully I will be HER mother as well.
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