Where did Summer go?

In some ways, I find it difficult to believe that I haven't blogged since Charlotte's birthday.

Looking back, it's not that difficult to fathom at all. Adding a new person to the mix makes for one busy life!

Our view at the lake on most days

Kiddo has had a pretty great summer, I think. She had quite a few weeks at YMCA Day Camp getting dirty in between swimming lessons. We also took a week to drive to Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri for a family vacation with Roger's relatives. Despite getting on each other's last nerves before the 1000 mile trip to the lake was over, it was a fairly smooth ride. We were pretty well crammed into the VW Bug but we made do and everyone was still relatively comfortable. The return trek was much more tolerable. Maybe we were all more relaxed by then! Kiddo swam a ton, I read lots of books, and Roger caught about a dozen fish! Also, the Frozen soundtrack was played about fifty times. Give or take.

Another view of the lake

Roger won the Family Fishing Derby
Prize for most fish caught (12)

We also ate lunch under the St. Louis Arch!

We continue to develop our relationship with Kiddo. There have been rocky patches and some really great days. We have seen her grow immensely in the 5 months that she has been a part of our family. We also see her struggle with many things. None of it is completely unexpected given her history but it's still a challenge. Fortunately, we have a great team supporting us and working with us every step of the way. I'm so grateful for all the friends and family who have been able to meet her so far. She has really enjoyed getting to know everyone. The biggest comment we hear is, "Wow! She's not shy at all!" She is a pretty friendly little kid and we love to see her socialize with everyone.

September will be a big month. School starts again. By the end of the month, we will have another team discussion. We will FINALLY hit that 6 month mark which means discussion about adoption. Everyone on the team expects that we will continue to move forward at this point but it's hard to say how long the timeline will be for the entire process.

So there's you're big summer update! I promise more tales of adventure will be forthcoming. I just need to find the time between adventures to write it all down!

The Edge of Seventeen

It's that time of year when the blog musings center on my grief journey. Every year, it seems like we are busy with end-of-the-year school activities and the start of summer, planning vacations, and then (kablam)...it's almost July 9. Grief is funny. Grief is weird. I remember very early after Charlotte died, I watched the movie Rabbit Hole. There's an amazingly poignant scene where Nicole Kidman's character is talking with another woman who lost a child over 10 years before (played by Dianne Wiest). She talks about grief being like a brick in your pocket. It never goes away. Sometimes you can even forget it's there. But it comes back and makes its presence known from time to time. And (she says) "it's what you have of them." I probably did not fully realize then what a powerful and true analogy that is. As time goes on, our grief changes. Yet, it is always there on the edge of things. It sits in that pocket and sometimes makes itself known. This...

Bittersweet Sixteen

I think about Charlotte every single day. However, this time of year, I'm flooded with all kinds of memories as we commemorate the anniversary of her birth. This year feels like a bit of a milestone. Sixteen. If cancer had not taken her life back in 2010, I have a feeling I would be planning a massive birthday celebration this year. 16 always feels like a landmark year in someone's life. I have been thinking a great deal about the last birthday party we had for Charlotte in 2009. We didn't know it at the time, but we were halfway through her treatment journey. We had been through three major brain surgeries and a few rounds of inpatient chemotherapy. Treatments were not going well. In fact, right after her birthday, we would make the trip to Houston, Texas where we would settle in for about 10 weeks of proton beam radiation treatments and a new customized chemotherapy protocol. This was the unspoken "last chance option" to beat that aggressive brain tumor into ...

It's a (not quite) Jolly Holiday

I was sitting in a doctor's office waiting room a few weeks ago. While I waited, another patient came out into the reception area to make her next appointment. The receptionist offered a few dates, including one on a Saturday. The woman (I have no idea who she was; let's call her Maude) originally said yes to the Saturday date. Then the following conversation ensued: Maude: Wait! Is that Mother's Day weekend? Receptionist: Hmm. You know what? I'm not sure. When is Mother's Day? Maude: You don't know? Receptionist: (nervous laugh) Well, I guess I should know this.... Maude: Are you a mother? Receptionist: No. Maude: But...you have a mother, right? You should know these things! At this point, I was incensed with "Maude". This woman knew nothing about the receptionist. She could have recently lost a child. She could have been struggling with infertility. She could have had a mother who recently died. Or she could have a strained or just very compli...

I See What You Meme

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