An Open Letter to my Husband on Valentines Day

An open letter to my husband in preparation for Valentines Day:

As your socially conscious, politically correct, tree-hugging, liberal wife, I have some gift guidelines for this upcoming holiday that continually celebrates conspicuous consumption over sentiment.

No jewelry.  Any kiss from me will not begin with Kay and if you go to Jared I may kick you out of the house for at least a week. I don't need the thought of aiding and abetting civil war in African countries through conflict diamonds on my conscience.

No cut flowers. Not only will the flowers die within a week but the flower industry is rife with unfair labor practices.

Don't buy a card because it will only end up in a landfill after it clutters my already cluttered house for an undetermined period of time while I pretend to appreciate its sentimentality.

I used to think chocolate was the key to my heart but apparently it has become a pawn for civil war on the Ivory Coast. Besides, my Weight Watchers points budget (and my waistline) will thank you.

Please don't make any elaborate plans for expensive dinners or date nights.

I need none of these things.

In fact, last night I got the best Valentine present in the world. A simple, unsolicited statement on Facebook:

Roger ReynoldsWild and crazy day today. Unwinding at Ashland Coffee & Tea listening to Michael Clem and drinking a glass of merlot. My best girl by my side...

Aw shucks. That's really all a girl can ask for. These days, a social media shout-out is as good a gift as any. I guess you could say I'm cheap and easy but it's economical, socially responsible, AND environmentally friendly. Who can argue with that?

Thanks for letting me be your best girl.

XOXO,
your wife

PS That was me, wasn't it?

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