Skip to main content

Pain Management

It has been a difficult week, no question.  

First of all, I'm starting to realize that my body is getting old.  I have been taking some great exercise classes at Mom's Treehouse this summer. I love the fact that these classes have offered camaraderie and an opportunity to exercise.  They have, however, also helped me realize that I have very weak knees.  My lower back and knees have been aching this week and even with trips to the chiropractor, I'm having to be gentle with myself.  I'm reminded of what comedian Louis CK says about getting older.(warning: there is language...but it's HILARIOUS!)


Secondly, we lost another cancer warrior this week.  Drew Goodman's battle with the nasty disease ended this week. Although we knew this was coming, it still hurt like hell.  Every time a family loses another child, my heart breaks all over again.

On top of all of that, work has been a little crazy.  It's nothing unbearable but on top of the other challenges in my life, it just compounds the situation.  I have learned two very important lessons in my short time already as principal: I will rarely work less than 50 hours in a week and I rarely get to deal with people when they are happy and satisfied. 
I do love my job but it sure is a lot of work

So how do I mediate all of this pain? Even the small things can add up and when you combine them all together, it turns into a big old pile of...mess.  Here are some things that work for me:

Just keep swimming...
  1. I keep moving, physically and emotionally. When you stop moving your muscles, they stiffen and atrophy. This applies to your muscles and joints but it also applies to your heart.  I'm reminded of Dory. I just keep swimming.   
  2. I find ways to give back. That helps my heart as well.  Today I will give blood in Drew's honor.  
  3. I try to keep it all in perspective. I can't do it all. I can't fix it all. However, I will do what I can.  We are all human and (unfortunately) have certain limitations.  Sometimes, one step at a time or one day at a time is all we can do. 
These thoughts bring to mind one more line from a classic movie.  In The Princess Bride, Westley says, "Life is pain, Princess.  Anyone who says differently is selling something."  Sometimes just acknowledging the pain is a big part of the process.  It's okay to say that life isn't fair. It's okay to be angry and sad.  What is not okay is getting stuck.  There may not be a quick solution and we may not have all the answers but we can mediate the pain in the small steps we take every day. 

"Just keep swimming..."



Popular posts from this blog

The Edge of Seventeen

It's that time of year when the blog musings center on my grief journey. Every year, it seems like we are busy with end-of-the-year school activities and the start of summer, planning vacations, and then (kablam)...it's almost July 9.  Grief is funny. Grief is weird. I remember very early after Charlotte died, I watched the movie Rabbit Hole.  There's an amazingly poignant scene where Nicole Kidman's character is talking with another woman who lost a child over 10 years before (played by Dianne Wiest). She talks about grief being like a brick in your pocket. It never goes away. Sometimes you can even forget it's there. But it comes back and makes its presence known from time to time. And (she says) "it's what you have of them."    I probably did not fully realize then what a powerful and true analogy that is. As time goes on, our grief changes. Yet, it is always there on the edge of things. It sits in that pocket and sometimes makes itself known.  This...

Bittersweet Sixteen

I think about Charlotte every single day. However, this time of year, I'm flooded with all kinds of memories as we commemorate the anniversary of her birth. This year feels like a bit of a milestone. Sixteen.  If cancer had not taken her life back in 2010, I have a feeling I would be planning a massive birthday celebration this year. 16 always feels like a landmark year in someone's life.  I have been thinking a great deal about the last birthday party we had for Charlotte in 2009. We didn't know it at the time, but we were halfway through her treatment journey. We had been through three major brain surgeries and a few rounds of inpatient chemotherapy. Treatments were not going well. In fact, right after her birthday, we would make the trip to Houston, Texas where we would settle in for about 10 weeks of proton beam radiation treatments and a new customized chemotherapy protocol. This was the unspoken "last chance option" to beat that aggressive brain tumor into ...

It's a (not quite) Jolly Holiday

I was sitting in a doctor's office waiting room a few weeks ago. While I waited, another patient came out into the reception area to make her next appointment. The receptionist offered a few dates, including one on a Saturday. The woman (I have no idea who she was; let's call her Maude) originally said yes to the Saturday date. Then the following conversation ensued:  Maude: Wait! Is that Mother's Day weekend?  Receptionist: Hmm. You know what? I'm not sure. When is Mother's Day?  Maude: You don't know?  Receptionist: (nervous laugh) Well, I guess I should know this.... Maude: Are you a mother?  Receptionist: No.  Maude: But...you have a mother, right? You should know these things!  At this point, I was incensed with "Maude". This woman knew nothing about the receptionist. She could have recently lost a child. She could have been struggling with infertility. She could have had a mother who recently died. Or she could have a strained or just very compli...